Man Vows To Chop Off This Organ If Notre Dame Wins CFP
By Cody McClure
The last post I wrote was a heartwarming story about Dalton Knecht brightening a kid’s day.
This one is about a man chopping off his cock.
It’s called versatility, and it’s what you can expect as I take over the content production on this website.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, this story is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. There’s your disclaimer.
Again, it is about a man CHOPPING OFF HIS OWN COCK. So please do not read this at work.
Do not type “MAN CHOPS OFF HIS OWN COCK” into your machine at work. You could possibly be fired, like the guy who in Philly who called that Packers fan a “c*nt.”
See how I put an asterisk in so you had to read CUNT in your brain. You said it, not me. That’s the trick.
Anyway, back to COCK.
The story goes like this … Two months ago, a man was watching a somewhat shitty Notre Dame football team, fresh off a loss to Northern Illinois, battle against the service academies.
At the time, it seemed like a safe and comical bet when he told his friends that he would “chop off [his] humongous ding-dong” — sure buddy — if the Fighting Irish won the College Football Playoff.
Now as we sit here on January 14th, it doesn’t seem so unlikely, does it jackass?
Notre Dame is getting ready to play Ohio State in the National Championship game in less than a week.
“Due to flawed playoff seeding and Carson Beck’s weak pussy ass,” the man said, “I have found myself in a situation.”
To his credit, this Reddit poster appears to be a man of his word despite having his “dick right on the chopping block.”
He made it clear to those concerned that if Notre Dame wins the natty, he will receive a professional surgery to safely remove his penis.
“I WILL FIRMLY STICK TO MY WORD.”
Not sure this guy is gonna know much of anything regarding a “firm stick” if you know what I mean.
I mean he’s going to be a eunuch.
“The timeline for this, though, will have to be flexible as I do have to consider my wife who would like to have at least 2 children,” the man added. “In the event that I have to follow through with my bet, she has agreed to accelerate our family planning so I can get the surgery as soon as possible.”
Way to stand by your man, ma’am. Well, at least while he’s still a man.
The man refuses to let his team be cursed, “and if it means that I will lose my cock in the process then so be it.”
Admirable.
“Go Buckeyes!”