I Can No Longer Afford To Take My Family To The Alabama Game

Credit: Rocky Top Insider

By Cody McClure

How much are you going to bleed me for, Danny White?

How much will you squeeze us common folk for the love of money?

Must every new recruit drive a Testarossa to practice?

I work as a DoorDash delivery driver and earn anywhere from $150-200 per week. Times are tough, as I have been holding out for a management position for some time now.

My wife is the chief executive officer of Eli Lilly pharmaceuticals. You could say she is the bread winner of our family. With our wages combined, we take home a modest $32.8 million per year.

We have ten children, all of whom are enrolled in ordinary private schools. We keep our expenses to a minimum. Besides our scaled-down local $41 million lakefront residence and low-key, unassuming winter getaways in Malibu and Brickell, all of which remain fully staffed, we don’t have much.

Set aside a few equities/bonds, and all we really own is adequate transportation for us and the kids — a Rolls-Royce La Rose Noire Droptail and a Bugatti Chiron Profilée. Additionally, we have one very plain yacht.

We get by… But now Mr. White has introduced a 10% surcharge to ticket sales. We love going to Tennessee football games, but prices have really gotten out of hand.

And now this? Does Mr. White even consider common fans like us anymore?

We used to be able to sit in Row 1 of the unpretentious luxury box near the 50-yard line. Now? We’ve had to move back to Row 2 of the unpretentious luxury box near the 50-yard line. We aren’t even able to land a humble helicopter at midfield anymore. We have to walk to the stadium.

Will this madness with paying college athletes over-the-top sums ever stop?

It is tradition for the wife and I to take the kids to the Alabama game every other year when Tennessee plays the Tide at home. Between hotels, gameday souvenirs, travel, meals, and gold to shit — our weekend setback is typically around $80,000 for the Alabama game. Now it will be close to $90,000.

Must I give up both polo on horseback and big-game hunting retreats? Will race car-driving become a nonexistent hobby for my wife? Will hot air ballooning go by the wayside for our family? I guess my sons no longer will be afforded the “luxury” of their exotic animal collection, either.

Thanks, a lot, Danny.

When will it end?

Signed, a common fan and his simple family hurting from your price hikes.