Cody’s ‘Five Things I’m Looking At’ Week 4

Gout in the toes. Credit: physiosunit.com

By Cody McClure

Who in their right mind would have picked Oregon State to beat Oregon last week?

^This guy.^ … Way to go, dumbass. I’m the problem, it’s me. I was desperate for a fun college football upset. The Ducks made a statement in Corvallis with a 49-14 win — their first good performance of the year, by the way.

“In my defense…” RIP Marcus Young. One of our great talents at the station, gone too soon. Heart disease is no joke.

What else did I get right and wrong in Week 3… let’s see here… K-State/Arizona was not a good game, though I did have the right winner. BC covered against Mizzou, as I figured. Couldn’t get that outright win, though. Shucks.

The Billy Napier firing tracker is right on schedule. Need the Gators to eek out a couple wins vs. Mississippi State and UCF. Then we’ll can his ass in Knoxville. And finally, my walk on campus went just fine. Got a good 10,000 steps in on Saturday and did not have any gout flareups, unlike my friend Miles.

Miles has severe gout despite being only 34 years old.

Here’s what’s on my mind heading into Week 4.

5. Is Georgia still elite?

Winning on the road in the SEC is not easy. I get that. But Georgia looked putrid in their 13-12 win at Kroger this past week. The offensive line has problems, and the Dawgs might just not have that Dawg in ‘em anymore.

Now, I’m not writing off UGA too soon. They’re loaded with talent, and most everyone who watches college football would rank Kirby Smart as the game’s top coach. They’re still gonna be really good.

But how good? Can we say definitively that Georgia is the class of the SEC? Carson Beck isn’t as good as Stetson Bennett, Brock Bowers isn’t on the roster anymore, and the Dawgs’ schedule is pretty damn rough.

This team still has games remaining at Texas and at Ole Miss as well as vs. Tennessee at home. And oh yeah, they’ve got a pretty big game at Alabama next weekend. “Crimson Cody” will be saying “Roll Tide” for sure on that day. Sorry, I just can’t stand these barking cunts.

It’s crazy to think Georgia will win all those remaining games. They are almost certainly losing one if not two of them. I don’t think they’ll lose three, but it’s not out of the realm of possibilities. Hell, why not 8-4? Am I right?

The Dawgs will be watching film this week, figuring out how to improve off the Kentucky win. I just don’t know if this is the same caliber of UGA team we’re used to. I hope it’s not. I hope the door is open for the Vols. I hope that fat little bulldog gets run over this week too. That’s definitely possible with the way those fellas drive down there.

Unhealthy little fat bitch dog. Credit: Saturday Down South.

Remember when Alabama used to absolutely throttle every SEC team they played, then somewhere along the way, the games got closer? It’s hard to hold the standard so high for so long. Perhaps Georgia has reached that phase in the dynasty.

4. What the hell is going on in the SEC scheduling department?

I get that Georgia and Alabama are off this week. But outside of the Tennessee/Oklahoma showdown in Norman, this schedule is shit! I’m an SEC guy. I’ve said it many times. I like watching the other teams in the conference play.

Not this week.

The best we’ve got as far as in-conference matchups is what, Florida at Mississippi State? Arkansas at Auburn? Jesus. Give me something for the pain and let me die already.

I suppose UCLA at LSU is intriguing in name alone, but the Tigers are a 24.5-point favorite. Vandy at Missouri? Go ahead and handcuff me to the door frame of the basement and choke me out, Mommy. Drip the candle wax on my chest. I like it that hot. Yes, I like it. I do. I do.

Sorry, got carried away there. But for real, gag me with a spoon, SEC scheduling department. This is garbage. Other SEC opponents this week include Ohio, Bowling Green, Akron, Georgia Southern, and UL Monroe. Howdy fuckin ho.

I suppose I’m interested in whether or not Sun Belt Billy and Sam Pittman can get themselves one step closer to the pink slip. Not much to see otherwise.

3. LA schools hitting the road

Speaking of that UCLA/LSU game, it’s one of two big road matchups this week for the LA schools. The Bayou Bengals will probably pound UCLA, so that game isn’t as interesting as the other big matchup — USC at Michigan.

The last time we saw USC in a big game, the Trojans disposed of LSU in Week 1. LSU playing both LA schools. Weird.

USC has since shut out Utah State 48-0. The last time we saw Michigan on the national stage, the Wolverines got pantsed 31-12 at home by Texas. I won’t get fooled again by this awful Michigan team, which most recently beat Butch Jones merely 28-18.

There’s an old saying in Tennessee, I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says “fool me once, shame on, shame on you … fool me … can’t get fooled again.”

You can’t fool me, Michigan. You suck. I know you suck. I’ve accepted it. Everyone knows it. I don’t think I could pick Michigan in a big game ever again. These boys ain’t cheating good, and they ain’t coached by Harbaugh. USC’s offense will light up Michigan.

I will never pick Michigan again. That said, I’m picking Michigan. It feels like an awful pick, but I’m doing it. Fool me again.

I really don’t know why I included UCLA on this. Just happened to notice a trend where both of the LA schools are traveling. But note that really I’m only interested in USC/Michigan.

UCLA has a nice campus though. I used to get pizza by the slice at a place called Lamonica’s.

2. Who’s got the biggest hawg in the Big 12?

No. 12 Utah travels to Stillwater to play the No. 14 Pokes this weekend. The Utes are favored ever so slightly, but it’s a tight line at -2.

Neither team has looked super impressive in the first three weeks. Utah is known for playing a physical brand of football. The Utes currently have the 21st-best defense in the country in terms of scoring. On the other side of the ball, Cam Rising is quite an efficient quarterback but has a lingering finger injury.

Oklahoma State is pretty good offensively, not great defensively — the usual story under Mike Gundy. I wasn’t all that impressed with the boys against Arkansas. That defense reminded me a bit of Swiss cheese with all those holes in it. You get it.

What’s the deal with Swiss cheese, anyway? It tastes like sweaty socks in a way (please don’t ask me how I know). Quite musty to say the least.

And why does it have all those holes? Is it air pockets or something? My guess is it’s something that happens with air when the cheese gets made. How does cheese get made? What is cheese?

I digress.

Why all the holes? Credit: healthbenefitstimes.com

Rising should be ready to go this week for a game that will put one of these teams in the driver’s seat for the automatic playoff bid.

I like Utah to win despite having to go on the road. The Utes’ physical play will ultimately be too much for the Pokes, in my opinion. You’d think with a name like the “Pokes” maybe Oklahoma State would have the biggest “hawg.”

I digress.

1. Will Saturday be Nico’s coming out party?

If you read this article the week of the Tennessee/NC State game, I wrote that that game would be Nico’s “coming out pregame before the coming out party at Oklahoma.”

I still feel that way.

Nico made some really nice plays against the Wolfpack despite the two interceptions (one was a freak play and not really his fault). He’s been pretty much elite against the other inferior competition.

Oklahoma should present the toughest test defensively for our young stud quarterback. The Sooners rank 27th nationally in total defense, 23rd in scoring defense, and have better talent than NC State.

Still, Tennessee is expected to go into Norman and put up some points. Remember, the Vols average 63.7 points per game. Pretty good. We are averaging over a touchdown a game more than the second-place team in scoring offense (Ole Miss with a mere 56 points per game).

Imagine only averaging 56 points per game.

Only averages 56 points per game. Credit: Football Scoop. 

Don’t get me wrong — I’m excited by the fact this Tennessee is winning with defense and running the ball at an elite level. That will be the difference in whether or not we can win a natty.

But I’m ready to see Nico really shine. I want him to go off Saturday. NC State geared up to stop the pass. If Oklahoma gears up to stop the run, we’re gonna have a shot at some big pass plays.

I can’t wait for us all to kick back and enjoy watching Nico hit them.