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The University Of Toledo Are Liars And Must Pay

We cannot let the University of Toledo get away with this. They made a promise on the internet. If you make a promise on the internet, you have to follow through with it.

(Unless you’re that idiot WarBlogle guy who promised the world he would eat his hat if Auburn finished 11th in the SEC in basketball in the 2016-2017 season. They finished 11th. He didn’t eat the hat, and he must live with that shame for the rest of his life.)

It appears as if Toledo was staring down the barrel of a re-brand after getting caught up in the hysteria of the 17th anniversary of Shrek’s release. Some intern was not the sharpest tool in the shed and said that if they could get to 500,000 retweets, Toledo would change its mascot to Shrek.

After all, we could all use a little change.

They probably didn’t think that the internet could do it. But then they say those retweets, then they were believers.

And, well, the retweets started coming and they didn’t stop coming. Before having to make the shape of an L on their foreheads, the intern deleted the tweet.

We as a society cannot take this laying down. You cannot opt out of a bet. You cannot simply claim that it was a hoax and that it wouldn’t be fair to Rocky the Rocket to change.

With all due respect, Rocky the Rocket can go to hell.

Think about how sad Mike Myers has to be this week after Verne Troyer died. What about him? Do you think Mike Myers could use a pick me up? I would say so. It’s the least we could do after he gave us one of the 5 greatest animated movie series of all time.

I do laugh at the idea of some intern thinking that he had a great, fun tweet, only to be overtaken with fear as internet mobs started retweeting his tweet thousands of times by the minute. It had to be a lot like Andy Bernard promising to get a butt tattoo if his employees could earn enough merits only to see them actually start working.

Imagine how confused the Toledo administrators were when they heard that they might soon have green as their primary color.

Joke or not, do the right thing, Toledo. What do you have to lose? No one knows you for literally anything else other than disappointing the masses by reneging on a bet.

Do the right thing. Be an all-star.

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