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Tennessee Basketball Players If They Were Halloween Candy

The Tennessee basketball season is roughly 25-30 days away, and I couldn’t be more excited. So, like the basketball junkie I am, I’m finding any reason to write about the 2020-21 team. We are going to break down Tennessee basketball players if they were Halloween candy. But, first, let’s dissect Halloween:

It’s a holiday that needs no introduction, but since you insist, here’s what I got.

Some people call it Satan’s holiday. I don’t believe that, but if so, maybe Satan is on to something. Hear me out.

The costumes are super cool for kids. They can dress up as anything they want for a day. Kids can believe they are a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Power Ranger, or whatever is cool nowadays.

Something your dad would never tell you in front of your mom is costumes only get better the older you get. I mean, who doesn’t love going to parties with a bunch of nurses that forgot their scrub pants at home?

And, who doesn’t love viewing all the bunnies, cats, and teachers?

“Monster Mash” is one of the greatest songs ever made. It’s so catchy, and it will forever be a classic.

Trick-or-treating is fantastic, and you GET LOADS OF CANDY, which is the point of this post.

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Tennessee basketball

John Fulkerson – Hershey’s Bar

I could have gone in different directions with this comparison. But, I’m going with the Hershey’s Bar.

The Hershey’s Bar is a classic and will stand the test of time. It’s so good it melts in your mouth.

John Fulkerson will go down as one of the most likable players in Tennessee basketball history and will stand the test of time.

Sure, the Hershey’s Bar is plain but always gets the job done. Isn’t that Fulkerson’s game? He’s got nothing flashy in the bag, but shooting 61.3 percent from the 2-point line gets the job done.

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Tennessee basketball

Josiah-Jordan James – 3 Musketeers

The 3 Musketeers isn’t a great candy bar. Nothing about it stands out. However, there are times when you eat one, and it hits the spot.

Statically speaking, and you know I love stats, JJJ was pretty darn good last season. The problem was he didn’t do anything great and never stood out. But, when he was on, he hit the spot or a three.

James finished the season with a 42.6 percent three-point shooting percentage in SEC play. That was good enough for the fourth-highest in the league.

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Tennessee basketball

Victor Bailey Jr. – Starburst

On Halloween, Starburst comes in a pack of two, and you never what which two flavors you’re going to get until you open it up.

That’s how I feel about Bailey Jr. Could he be the two lemon flavor ones?

Hopefully not.

Bailey Jr. could be one of the team’s best players, and in which case, that would be two pink Starburst.

We won’t know until we open the package when the season starts.

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Santiago Vescovi

Santiago Vescovi – M&M’s

Like Vescovi, M&M’s are very versatile.

Not a big plain fan? Go with the peanut or peanut butter kind. Can’t have peanut butter? What about the pretzel, brownie, or crispy?

Vescovi’s game is like all the different kinds of M&M’s. He’s got the regular bounce passes but can show flash with between the legs and even behind the back passes.

He can shoot the three or drive to the rack. He can rebound and turn the ball over.

Vescovi is a little bit of everything, and that’s what you get with M&M’s.

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Uros Plavsic – PayDay

The PayDay seems old school to me. It’s the candy bar that your grandparents would pick. And, that’s what Plavsic is: an old-school basketball player.

The days of needing a slow 7-footer to protect the rim are over. The game has changed, and PayDays are no longer at the top of the list.

Plus, Uros will make you “pay” when you go to the rim. Get it? (he elbowed that Alabama player)

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Tennessee basketball

E.J. Anosike – Nestle Crunch

Anosike is 6-foot-7, 245 pounds of pure muscle. He reminds me a lot of Jeronne Maymon, who was a beast in the post.

The Nestle Crunch bar looks built with the rice puffs sticking out of the milk chocolate. Watch Anosike crunch his opponents this season.

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Davonte Gaines – Twizzlers

This was the easiest match for me.

Twizzlers are a long candy. You can twist it around your hand (spin it like a helicopter). Seriously though, you can twist Twizzlers in any way, and that’s what Gaines looks like on the defensive end.

Gaines is a pest on defense; his arms and legs are everywhere. Also, you can use Twizzlers as a straw, and Gaines is super skinny like a straw.

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Drew Pember – Heath Bar

The Heath Bar is English toffee covered in chocolate. Pember reminds me of an English prince waiting his turn to dominate the world of college basketball.

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Jaden Springer – Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

I know we haven’t seen anything from Springer on the court yet, but according to 247sports composite rankings, he’s the third-highest prospect the Vols have ever signed.

That ranking comes with high expectations, and you never expect anything but the best from Reese’s.

Springer should be one of the best players for the Vols this season. He’s very athletic and loves getting to the rim.

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Olivier Nkamhoua – Almond Joy

Almond Joy’s are coconut and dark chocolate with a little almond surprise.

Nkamhoua didn’t show us much last season, but there is a little surprise waiting to explode.

I can’t remember what game it was, but Nkamhoua made a little spin move at the free-throw line, and it looked just like Tyler Smith. Give me more of that surprise, please.

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Corey Walker Jr. – Flavored Tootsie Rolls

Walker Jr. is another player we haven’t seen yet, but he should turn out to make an impact.

Overlooked by the other candies in the bag (Springer and Johnson), the flavored Tootsie Rolls (Walker Jr.) are good and offer a lot of taste.

I really like Walker’s game, and I think after his time with Tennessee basketball, he will be an NBA player. It will just take longer than Springer and Johnson.

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Keon Johnson – Snickers

We haven’t seen Johnson on the court yet, but the talented freshman will bring a lot to the table. Like Springer, Johnson is one of the highest-rated players the Vols have ever signed.

Many college scouts think Johnson will be one of the best freshman defenders in the nation. And, he can give you a little something on the offensive end as well. He’s a mix of the perfect player, and that’s why we are going with Snickers.

What’s not to like with a mix of almond, hazelnut, peanut butter, and chocolate?

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Tennessee basketball

Yves Pons – King Size Twix

You know those houses you go to, and you get surprised with a king-size bar? Well, that’s Pons.

The dude is huge. Rumor has it; he’s as big as the Hulk, and I believe it.

He’s also a king at protecting the rim. Opposing players think it’s unfair Tennessee basketball gets to play with six people on the defensive end of the court.

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