Cody’s ‘Five Things I’m Looking At’ Week 10

Credit: Pinterest

By Cody McClure

Hello, freaks.

I am writing to you today as a World Champion.

My Los Angeles Dodgers defeated the evil New York Yankees Wednesday night to win the World Series 4-1 (four games to one… not the score of the game… the game score was like 7-6).

If you missed Game 5, it was epic. Tremendous baseball game between two tremendous teams.

Sports are fun when they go your way. This year, both my baseball teams won titles. The Dodgers and the Vols. Feels good.

Now it is time to readjust back into football game after a nice little bye week for the Big Orange. The Vols play sad, pathetic, lowly Kentucky on Saturday night.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to in Week 10. Wow, already Week 10. Time flies!

Actually it goes by at the same rate it always has. That’s just some silly shit we all say.

Also, I hope you all had a fun Halloween making God cry.

Now for the rest of the story. Here’s the meat of the article. Enjoy this meat.

Look at all that meat. Credit: tastingtable.com

5. Pittsburgh at SMU

Why does Pittsburgh have an H at the end? It seems hardly necessary. If it was Pittsburg I’d still be convinced of the pronunciation. It’s not like the H adds anything at all.

Anyway, normally I couldn’t give a fuck about a game like this. These days, however, it could be important to Tennessee’s playoff hopes.

The ACC will get an auto bid champion into the playoff, of course, but the question is, is the conference capable of getting another team in?

Miami is undefeated, Clemson is hanging around with one loss, and then you’ve got these two groups of schmucks.

Now, I really don’t buy the idea that the committee would keep us out at 10-2 for one of these 11-1 teams, but we could have a real problem if a scenario plays out where the ACC championship game loser is undefeated before the game.

SMU doesn’t even have to play Clemson and Miami. Weird. They’ve already got a loss, though, so we should root for them against Pitt. We don’t need an undefeated Pitt losing in the conference championship game. That could make things weird.

This game will be on at the same time as the Tennessee game. Watch it if you want. Or don’t. Makes me no difference.

4. Can Florida play well enough to convince us we have a shot vs. Georgia?

It’s the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, or as they call it these days, a rivalry game.

Do we have to cancel everything? Was it so bad that people thought of this game as a big party?

That’s what it should be. That’s what makes college football fun. Hey, people in Jacksonville, Florida drink before football games. Was someone surprised to hear that?

God damn libs.

Sorry, I don’t mean to be political.

Folks boozing for Florida-Georgia. A different time. Credit: worldrecordacademy.org

I picked Florida to cover the spread in this game. Why? Because the cheese fell off my cracker a long time ago.

This is one of those games that gets me in front of the TV every year. It’s traditionally a fun one to watch as a neutral bystander. Two schools you hate. One of them loses. We all win.

Now, I don’t imagine Florida will ever have a chance to win this game, but I’m interested to see if they lose by a margin that makes us feel good. Know what I’m saying? 27-20 or something like that.

Do you know what I am saying?

Georgia has already been in a couple close SEC games, so if that trend shows up again, I think we’ll be licking our chops as Tennessee fans.

3. Can Dylan Sampson climb into the Heisman race?

When it comes to college football running backs, all the talk is about Boise State’s Ashton Jeanty.

I get it. The guy has 1,376 rushing yards and 18 touchdowns on the ground this season. AND he’s averaging a whopping 8.7 yards per carry.

Heisman contender. Well deserved. No problem.

But I’m ready for our guy to get some love. We thought we had a Heisman contender in Nico Iamaleavea.

We didn’t.

Sampson, however, has been having a tremendous season as the Vols’ RB1. He’s putting up numbers that, if the pace continues, should have him in the conversation.

Make no mistake, Sampson isn’t going to win the Heisman. But how unrealistic is it to think he could do enough to get an invite to New York?

Did you know that Sampson is currently on pace to surpass Derrick Henry for most rushing touchdowns in a season in SEC history?

No, you didn’t fucking know that. And neither did I before I Googled “Dylan Sampson Heisman” on Bing.

I guess I Binged it, not Googled. Binged with a “G” sound, not binged with a “J” sound. That’s what I do when I eat at Shoney’s.

So anyway, Sampson is barely on the radar right now. But he’s got games coming up against inferior competition.

If he continues to find the end zone at the rate he has this season, it will be hard to keep him out of the conversation.

At the very least, I expect Sampson to break Gene McEver’s school record this weekend. You know our boy is good for two tuddy’s against the Cats.

Gene McEver. A real Alpha. Credit: utsports.com

2. Will Penn State finally get over the hump?

How long will you continue to lose the big game, James Franklin?

Is James Franklin the Lane Kiffin of the Big Ten? Some are asking. I’m asking.

Penn State will face their first real test of the season this week in a battle of top five teams in Happy Valley. I haven’t checked, but I’m sure it’s a whiteout. Lots of whites, out and about. Whites… out. Get it?

By the way, I thought Happy Valley was a town. But then I remembered Penn State was at State College, PA. That’s what I always thought. Now when I Bing it, it says University Park, PA.

When did this happen? When did University Park come into the fold? Is State College still there? Where is this place?

I sound like Joe Biden trying to find his train set.

We were fine then, and we’re fine now. We’ve always been fine. You’re the sucker!

Sorry, I don’t mean to be political.

Speaking of politics, Donald Trump was going to be at this game but cancelled last minute. I wonder what happened. Him and Kamala are probably both exhausted by now with all the campaigning.

Big election Tuesday! I won’t endorse a candidate, but I can say with confidence the country will be in great shape regardless of what happens. Two terrific candidates!

Anyway, I expect Ohio State to win this game per usual.

Watching Ohio State take a three-score lead in the fourth quarter yet again. Credit: YouTube 

1. Will we see a big SEC upset #SECupset from South Carolina or Arkansas?

It is playoff scenario season. I love it and hate it at the same time.

“What if this happens?”

“OK sure, but what about this?”

“Yeah yeah but what if ouqbvepibq beats z,.m,xcv ,q?”

It gets annoying. Doesn’t everything, though? I’m annoying. You’re annoying. It’s the essence of existing.

We’re guaranteed to get a playoff elimination game between LSU and Alabama. That will be nice.

But from a Vols perspective, there’s a narrative building that we’re going to need help at 10-2 assuming a loss to the Dawgs.

So yeah, an upset or two wouldn’t hurt. I’m not seriously considering that Florida can beat Georgia, so basically we’ve got two other opportunities to thin the herd this week.

South Carolina hosts Texas A&M, and Arkansas hosts Ole Miss. On the latter, I’m not really worried about the Rebs, as they have already taken two Ls, but a loss in Fayetteville would eliminate them completely. It would also prop Arkansas up a bit which helps our resume.

Carolina beating A&M would be a bigger deal for us. That’s what we really need.

We’ve all seen firsthand what a Shane Beamer team can be capable of in November.

And another thing, you’ve heard of “No Nut November.” So that means no beating the cocks! Get it???

Go Cocks!