Addressing the BVS Epidemic

By Will Hadley

Dear Vol fans,

It’s time to have a conversation.

The last 15 years haven’t been great. You know it and I know it. It’s been filled with downs and downs. We witnessed Mount Cody, Treon Harris, 4th and 14, Georgia State, the turnover trashcan and so much more. 

If you’re familiar with the works of Clarkson, one of the great philosophers of our day, you likely live by the adage that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” These shortcomings are supposed to unify, shape and mold us, but rather have created a Pavlovian effect where many of us run into the corner like little bitches at the mere glimpse of success.

This is a disease known as Battered Vol Syndrome. It has sunk deep into the minds of many fans and caused X.com to become a living hell for ball knowers. 

Just look at yourselves. We don’t live in fear of small pox or the black plague. We move on. Because things have been taken care of. The plight of Vol fans everywhere has run its course, and it’s time to recognize our new reality. 

The Vols are back. We are balls deep at every position on the field. We have lost one (1) game at home in the last 2 seasons! The NCAA lives in absolute fear of Dr Danny White and his massive money cannons, and he’s still working to finish the job. 

We’re top 10 in recruiting and have zero holes on this roster. The world will soon take notice of King Josh and his Polynesian Prince who was Promised. We haven’t even mentioned our baseball natty and #1 overall draft pick either.

The woes of the past 15 years belonged to the old Vols. But there’s a new sheriff in town. And it’s time to take back what’s ours. 

“Waah! Florida backup QB!”

“Waah! 3-3-5 defense!”

“Waah! Peyton’s at the game!”

“Waah! Same old Vols!”

Grow up. 

Florida is dead. We’re rich. Nick Saban ain’t walking through that door. The playoff is expanded. Any year could be ours. Why not this one?

The whole “same old Tennessee” shtick has run its course. If you’re still suffering from BVS, it’s time to quarantine.

We don’t want you schizo freaks in our way. Go spend time with your kids. Maybe take a walk with your dog. Quit running from Dr. Danny’s vaccine. We’re too busy making reservations for our 2nd major national championship in the same year. (cfp-rsvp.com)

Text a buddy. 

-Will