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RIP Darren Rovell: June 30, 1978-August 5, 2020


Darren Rovell has been murdered today. No charges have been pressed, and no investigation is expected. The clear culprit is Johnny “Money” Manziel. The former college football standout and Texas A&M standout was defending his honor when the shots were fired.

The incident occurred on Wednesday, August 5th, at 2:56 PM. Rovell decided to fire shots with the comparison of two SI covers from 7 years ago. This is weak for two reasons:

A. No one has read SI in, well, seven years.

B. This is legitimately a manufactured beef on Rovell’s part in his constant battle to generate a reaction, no matter the consequences.

The evidence of the crime can be seen above or by clicking here. The “sportswriter” decided it was a good time to come at one of the best to play the Twitter game. This wasn’t a smart decision for a man who gets roasted daily as much as Dan Wolken.

You have to admire the way Manziel handled the situation.

He, by no means, came in “guns blazing.”

He simply walked in the front door, poured himself a beer, stated the facts, cleaned up after himself, and walked back out the way he came. The Twitter streets are a rough place for a whiny little bitch like Rovell. Unfortunately for him, he chose the wrong former QB to mess with on a Wednesday.

In the meantime, let’s all say a prayer for the Rovell family as they go through this difficult time.

Maybe the Lord will forgive his sins of lying about being an unbiased sports writer.

Hopefully, the Lord above will wipe away the sin theft, as he robbed innocent readers of their time with his shitty articles and tweets. For now, let’s praise Manziel for this service he has done us all.

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