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Pete Rose Is Broke And Autograph Seekers Are Weirdos

BREAKING NEWS: Pete Rose is a degenerate gambler.

If the whole gambling on baseball while he was a manager thing didn’t tip you off, new documents from his 2011 divorce that somehow hasn’t gone final yet may do the trick.

In the documents it is claimed by his current/ex-wife Carol that Pete blows almost all of his money in high stakes gambling sessions and has significant debts with casinos and the IRS.

First of all. . . duh.

Second of all, I feel so mislead. I spent many lazy days watching his reality TV show Hits and Mrs. Pete’s engagement to the former Playboy model Kiana Kim wasn’t an engagement at all. He was still married all along. I feel so bad for Cassie and Ashton, his hypothetical stepchildren. Pete tried hard to teach Ashton how to hit the ball- and probably the ol 3-team parlay.

(Upon further review, this show only had six episodes before getting cancelled. So, maybe I spent one total lazy day watching Hits and Mrs.)

The documents also yielded the information that Pete Rose makes over $100,000 per month on autograph signings.

How? Why? Who are these weirdos?

What’s the value of a Pete Rose autograph in 2018 after he has whored himself out for the last decade peddling the same autograph routine up and down every coast like his name is Sparky Polastri.

Does being banned from the Hall of Fame help or hurt Rose’s fame? Sure, autographs from Hall of Famers probably have high value. But what’s the value of an autograph from one of the only banned degenerates in sports history?

Who are these weirdos that are paying Pete Rose to sign memorabilia at the rate of $1.2 million per year? What’s the point?

What are you going to do with his autograph? Use it as a conversation piece with your friends? Show your son or daughter a story of a man who had it all and gambled it all away? Talk about how Bud Selig should’ve just let him in the Hall?

According to eBay, a signed 1980 World Series baseball is $150 and a standard autographed card is $5.

I guess if you can collect enough of these, you can sell them to pay off your bookie in case you get caught in a pinch.


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