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Mississippi State Embracing Starkvegas Is Stupid

Mississippi State has Starkvegas on it’s basketball court.

It’s the dumbest thing I think any SEC team has ever done, and I say this as a fan of a team who once held a trashcan up on the sideline as the defense gave up over 650 yards on national TV.

Apparently, Mississippi State was mockingly called Starkvegas because… well, because of obvious reasons. There is absolutely nothing in Starkville, Mississippi. I’ve never been there, yet I say it very confidently. There is nothing there.  A google search of “what to do in Starkville” yields this top 5 of things to do/visit: Mississippi State University, The Pita Pit, Ulysses S. Grant Presidential Library, Cobb Museum of Archaeology, Oktibbeha County Heritage Museum.

School, a library, and two museums. The Pita Pit must be really damn fun. If you keep scrolling, number six will tell you to go to somewhere called “The Cotton District,” but I reeeeeallllllly feel like that may be a bad idea.

Look, I get what they’re doing. Take a negative and embrace it. ADIDAS were the geniuses that came up with the idea after visiting Starkville and looking around trying to find something, ANYTHING marketable. So, they started branding the insults as a good thing. Yes, ADIDAS was just like every redneck from every small town ever that added “-Vegas” to the end of the city’s name to make it seem cool. So, ADIDAS started putting it on shirts and graphics and began selling it to Mississippi State fans.

I’m probably in the top 10% in the world in terms of 8 Mile fandom, but this is too far.

What’s next? Are they going to start lovingly introducing Ben Howland as “The Coach who had Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, Darren Collinson and Luc Mbah A Moute on the same team and couldn’t win the national championship?”

If you’re going to embrace how terrible your situation is, go all-in. No half-steppin’, no half-measures.

Rename the football stadium the  Double-Digit Davis Wade Stadium and market it as the proud home of a football program that has won double-digit games only twice since the second World War!

Halfway through this post, I began assuming that State’s cowbell tradition had something to do with their university being built on a cow pasture, but it turns out that a jersey milk-cow once wandered onto the field during a game against Ole Miss that the Bulldogs won in the 1930s.

They’ve been ringing a cowbell for over 80 years because a cow once walked onto the field. Their proudest tradition comes from a milk-cow being lost.

Nevermind, maybe we should just let them have this whole Starkvegas thing.


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