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BREAKING: Manhunt In Full Swing For Sniper Who Shot Daniel Jones

Daniel Jones

BREAKING: Last night, New York Giants quarterback Daniel Jones was shot by a sniper in the middle of his career’s longest rush.

As you can clearly tell, this sniper seems to be made of some advance non-bullet technology. It appears that there was some gravitational force to knock him off his feet.

According to my sources, police are on a manhunt for a secret Russian organization based in New York.

The title of their organization has not been released yet. However, Russians are not creative, so it is probably something along the lines of “Russians Against America.”

Sources are not sure why they decided to target Daniel Jones, but it would be a 15-yard penalty because they were targeting him.

Another possible motive for this attack was because he was running the ball. I talked to this one Russian dude one time, and he said, “I hate how they call it ‘rushin yards.”

He claimed that it was an appropriation of their culture because his people are called “Russians.”

No arrest has been made now, but be sure to stay safe and keep an eye out for Russian snipers.

Update: Apparently, he just tripped.