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Florida Man Skips Out On Ridiculous Bar Tab

It happens to the best of us. We sit down at a restaurant for some food and maybe a couple of drinks with friends. Between the quality food and the good conversation, it seems like time just flies by, and, next thing you know, it has been a couple of hours. We’ve all been there.

This Florida man definitely did not do that.

This Florida man (IT’S ALWAYS THE FLORIDA MAN), who shall be known from here on out as Florida Man (real name Stephen Loftus), ended up getting arrested for refusing to pay his tab of $105 at a Mexican restaurant in Vero Beach, Florida. His tab consisted of 16 vodka drinks and one chimichanga over the period of eight and half hours.

Apparently, Florida Man refused to pay his tab because, well, he couldn’t afford it. He says he stayed there for eight and half hours because he was meeting his landlord there at 1:30 p.m. — he was arrested at almost 11 p.m. His landlord, by the way, says that Florida Man was lying about the meeting.

First off, could you imagine spending eight-and-a-half hours in a restaurant alone? I have to imagine whoever was serving this guy got tired of him fairly quickly. After all, Florida Man doesn’t exactly look like he’s much of a conversationalist. More than that, how do you last that long at a restaurant and only eat one lowly chimichanga? If I knew I was going to skip out on my tab, I would have ordered about three of everything and tried to get it to go or something.

Speaking of the guy serving Florida Man, he should be fired. Two things should have occurred after about the sixth drink: One, the server should have cut him off. That’s just bartending 101. Two, the server probably should have realized this guy was up to something. I can’t imagine some guy walks in and knocks out a handful of drinks for lunch on any given day, so there should have been some red flags in that regard.

Finally, what happens if this guy can never pay this tab? I can’t imagine he has much to lose if his diet consists of vodka and Mexican food. Does he have to wash dishes at the restaurant or temporarily work for the owner? What if he just keeps calling everyone’s bluff and he ends up going to jail over a $100 bar tab? Then he would get free food for months! Florida Man, apparently smarter than most, in the dumbest of ways.

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