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Five Things More Likely Than Shy Tuttle Falling On A Helmet

If you were not paying too much attention to who was on the field for the Vols this past Saturday against UMass, I can’t say that I blame you. The Vols put up an abysmal performance against the Minutemen, and it unfortunately came down to the last minute, man. There was one player that Vols’ fans are accustomed to seeing on the field, but to a lot of people’s surprise was not in uniform. That player was starting defensive tackle, Shy Tuttle. Apparently, rumors have been swirling around that Shy was involved in a fight with a fellow Volunteer, who will remain nameless, and Tuttle’s “orbital bone injury” was so severe his left eye was completely swollen shut.

But according to Butch Jones this was definitely not the case. So thankfully, Butch was able to provide an update on what happened to Tuttle during Monday’s press conference.

For those of us that are not idiots or Butch Jones’ Sheep, we know that that response was complete bullshit. “FAKE NEWS!!!” to quote Butch Jones. Now we all know that falling and hitting your eye on a helmet happens all the time, especially for D1 athletes (spoiler alert: it doesn’t). So I thought it would be a good idea to list all the possible lies that would have been better for Coach Jones to use when commenting on how Shy Tuttle actually received his SHYner!

Now these reasons are all just speculation, yet for some reason they all seem to be more realistic than Shy falling on a helmet…

5. The thought of playing for Butch made Tuttle slam his face into a locker.


4. Shy was pillow fighting with the rest of the defensive line unit.


3. Tuttle got poked in the eye when Coach Jones was telling another player to “visualize and attack.”


2. Jonathan Kongbo threw an Xbox controller at Shy when Shy beat him in FIFA.


1. Tuttle got hit in the face when the ball ricocheted off the Team 121 trashcan when he attempted to dunk a fumble recovery.

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