SPORTS ARE BACK!!!
Well, Korean Soccer is back. And they are back in a huge way.
With matches being held without fans, K League teams are trying to brainstorm new ways to fill their stadiums. Many have yet to execute any plans, but one team did decide to take action. FC Seoul decided to provide the players with some form of support from the stands. So for the benefit of the players, they got sex dolls to replace fans.
When we said, “we want fucking sports back,” this is not what we meant.
Also, why is there an event staff member in the background? Is he making sure the dolls from the rival fan base don’t come over to start a doll brawl? Maybe he’s just picking out which one he is gonna take home. Either way, I support his service. The soccer club came out and claimed that they did not know they were sex dolls but look at the one in the white shirt. She (it?) goes against many stereotypes about Korean females. They had to know what was up.
But like always, people are blowing this up. A giant load of trouble came over the club. The grief was not for what you would expect, though, it was not because kids could have been watching and seeing how far these dolls have come, that isn’t why.
There are two reasons FC Seoul is trouble is one, the dolls were holding signs promoting a Korean porn streaming site. The equal to an Only Fans account. Advertising for these types of companies is against K League rules. The other reason many Korean viewers were upset is because this act could embarrass the league and lower the respect from others. But do they really think we respect their league in the first place?
These doll fans remind me of a lot of Vandy fans, not real. But unlike Vandy, these stands are filled with something. So, regardless if they are made mostly of plastic and have a cum dump tray, Vandy fans still can’t compete with these dolls.
Honestly, I think this is a big ploy by the team owner. My theory is that he was online shopping for some sex dolls and meant to buy seven but bought 72 by mistake. Once his 72 virgins arrived, he panicked because he couldn’t hide all of them at his house. So instead, he started using the stadium as his hideout for them. Then the season resumed, and he had to explain why he had so many sex dolls at the stadium, and he told them that they were the new fans. And because he is the owner and it’s Korea everyone just went with it.
But that has no facts to back it—just a hunch. I do have one issue, though.
It’s not with the K League, FC Seoul, or the owner. My issue is that these dolls are getting too realistic and appealing.
Like they already don’t talk, but now they enjoy sporting events? Science needs to calm down before they bankrupt my hormones and me.