With the way the world has been the past couple of months, the last thing on most people’s minds is getting sports back, but I am not most people. I am one of the people who works two jobs just so I can gamble on a Korean baseball game at 4 in the morning.
Being this type of person, I have been desperately waiting on the return of sports.
Sometimes, I wonder if people feel like me. If they too want sports back so they can watch them.
That is why I was so thankful that ESPN put together “The ESPN Coronavirus Lockdown Fan Survey,” which answered all of my questions in a neat little article.
Does the article tell you how the survey was taken? No. Just that it was 1,004 “sports fans.”
But it does say that they are over 18, so at least we know it is the opinion of people that matter.
This godsend of a survey concluded that 65% of these genius, non-bias sports fans would like sports back. But get this; they are okay with it even if there are no fans in attendance.
Phew.
I finally know I’m not alone. I always thought I was the only person who would be okay with watching a bunch of awkward golfers whiffing on high fives, while an old man does ASMR, and the camera pans to a half capacity green. Give me that with zero crowd noise, and I won’t move off the couch for 5 hours.
76% of these same distinguished “sports fans” would want sports back if there were some caveats.
These caveats are: localizing the athletes and monitoring who they interact with.
If the demands of my fellow “sports fans” seem out there, you’re right.
But everything in the world right now is wild.
That’s why almost every league has considered the idea of a localization plan.
Well, every league but the NFL, according to Jeremy Fowler of ESPN.
Apparently, Roger Goodell is content with using reruns of Hard Knocks as content.
When you thought this survey couldn’t get anymore informational, it comes out with data that made my jaw drop.
It reports that 88% of “avid sports fans” plan to watch as many sports as they can upon their return.
Really?
I don’t even think 88% of alcoholics would drink as much as they can if they owned a liquor store.
Which brings me to this question.
Did ESPN just break the news that sports are more addicting than alcohol?
I think they did, which means the US government should make it to only people 21 and up can watch sports.
That or they need to let 18-year-olds drink again.
Your move, Legislative Branch.
