It’s time we address a problem that is currently plaguing Vol Nation.
Hosting a daily radio show in Knoxville, I’ve noticed it emerging slowly over the course of the last several months.
I call it Butch Jones Derangement Syndrome.
You likely know a sufferer. Perhaps you yourself are afflicted.
Symptoms of Butch Jones Derangement Syndrome (BJDS) include: loss of interest in recruiting, the inability to rationally discuss UT’s upcoming football season and an all encompassing negativity when it comes to anything relating to Tennessee football.
Some BJDS sufferers have actually convinced themselves that Butchisms like “Champions of Life” and “5 star heart” are actually more of an indictment on UT’s head coach than his inexplicable losses to South Carolina and Vanderbilt.
For these sad souls, the season is already ruined before it even begins. While the rest of us eagerly anticipate the dawn of a new season and a clean slate, the BJDS sufferer finds no joy in such things and is simply incapable of participating in any form of nuanced discussion about the team because…Butch Jones.
I asked clinical psychologist Dr. Lawrence Moscowicz how normal people should treat friends and family members who come down with BJDS.
“Avoid talking about sports with these people,” says Moscowicz. “They are simpletons and dullards. Their preoccupation with one man is reflective of their own deep seated personal insecurities about their small penises.”
Sadly, there is but one known cure for BJDS. Winning.
How much winning will do the trick? That all depends on the patient.
For some, simply winning the SEC East will suffice.
For others, wellness is far more difficult to attain.
The most severely infected may require an unlikely upset win over mighty Alabama in the SEC Championship in order to see clearly again. Still others may need more.
Hopeless cases of BJDS will never be able to enjoy Tennessee football until Butch consistently goes 15-0 winning championship after championship until all other universities scuttle their football programs and lie prostrate in front of Neyland Stadium begging forgiveness from the General’s ghost for ever having the audacity to challenge UT’s divine right to be college football’s supreme overlords.
But even then…
I can just hear it now.
“Well dang it Russell…I know he’s won 9 natty’s in a row, but why ain’t he recruiting that boy from Halls? And why’s he gotta use the word ‘individual’ so much?”
Such is our future if we don’t all act quickly to get lives, thusly eradicating this wretched curse from our collective psyche.
Do you suffer from BJDS? Do you know someone who is?
Acceptance is the first step to recovery people.