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Bachelorette Recap for Week 2 : Chris Harrison Quote-Tweeted Me

 

This week’s Bachelorette Recap is a doozy, folks. Week two had more drama, more of Yosef being a punk, and more of Clare being a badass.

The group dates were both TOTALLY different. We had our first dismissal outside of a rose ceremony.

Dale is still the obvious favorite. Bennett is still number one in my heart.

Let’s start this week’s Bachelorette Recap by breaking down the first group date!

*SPOILERS*

Love Languages were front and center in the first group date

Riley, Jordan, Yosef, Ivan, Ben, Bennett, Zac C., Fart Box, and Dale were the participants selected. You could see right through many of the men’s speeches during the “Words of Affirmation” portion.

Corny and cheesy said the New York Times, Forced, and inauthentic says the Boston Globe.

The highlight of this date was watching Bennett run as the men rushed to get their gifts for the “Receiving Gifts” segment. Seriously he glides like a gazelle, and one other contestant said, “I don’t think his body lets him sweat.”

Seriously, he’s perfect.

Anyways, there was one final portion, “Physical Touch”. Boy did it get steamy between her and Dale, and the tension was palpable.

Regardless, Riley would go on to really impress during his alone time at the reception and would be awarded the rose for that group date.

 

I will say Riley seems extremely genuine, and if not for all the rumors, I would consider him a legit contender.

My man Bennett got screwed, though, as his time was cut short because Clare had to get something off of her chest with the group. When she first arrived at the group date, the guys were anything but “chomping at the bit” to be the first to steal her away.

She took exception to that.

It did, however, give Yosef the opportunity to put his foot in his mouth not once, but twice and it was glorious.

Jason was awarded the first solo date and took full advantage

 

 

Let me say I am now a BIG Jason fan, and he is firmly in second for me. The theme of the date was all about letting go of past demons and moving on. Jason said in his past; he had trouble being vulnerable.

Buddy, Clare must bring it out of him because the whole thing was very emotional, powerful, and uplifting. They seemed to really connect and have good chemistry throughout the date.

The second group date was… something.

Eazy, Chasen, Brandon, Brendan, Blake Moynes, Joe, Garin, Demar, Kenny, and Jay were the suitors involved. There was a bit of competition in the form of… DODGEBALL.

Winners got to attend the group reception that night; losers went home. That wasn’t enough for Clare.

No, no, she decided to take it to the extreme with “Strip Dodgeball”. Let’s say, by the end; there were definitely balls flying everywhere.

This didn’t sit well with Blake Moynes, however, and he decided to crash the party and steal her away. First off, that reeks of desperation and reminds me of another head-case we’ve seen…

 

 

Yeah.

Unfortunately, Clare is as smitten with Blake as Hannah Brown was with Luke.

*insert eye-roll emoji*

The other guys didn’t take kindly to this and basically went Alpha. Clare wrapped things up with Blake and sent him on his way. He ultimately got rejected and was denied as he went in for a kiss.

Karma.

Once things settled, we saw our first pre-rose ceremony dismissal. Brandon decided to dig himself a hole and couldn’t take the hint to STOP TALKING. Maybe don’t flat-out say you’re only there because she is attractive.

Make SOMETHING up.

Seriously, where do they find these people? Chasen would get the rose for that date.

Yosef would, again, show his insecurities and make an ass of himself

Too bad, Clare wasn’t around.

He would go onto to say to a group of the guys the morning of the rose ceremony he was going to let Clare know the following:

 

  • Yosef thought the “strip” portion of the dodgeball game was “classless’.
  • Yosef has more respect for himself than that.
  • He was very disappointed that this occurred.

 

We will have to wait till next week to see how this plays out, though, because she immediately grabbed Blake after the toast. As stated before, she seems to be smitten with him for whatever reason because she gave him a rose before the ceremony.

Needless to say, the guys from the winning team were PISSED. The episode basically ended with Clare and Dale having sex in the garden. Sheesh, what a time.

Top 3 Bottom 3

As stated last week, each Bachelorette Recap, I will grace you with my Top 3 (favorites) and Bottom 3 (least favorites).

 

Top 3:

 

  1. Bennett
  2. Jason
  3. Riley

 

Bottom 3:

 

  1. Yosef
  2. Blake
  3. Dale

 

No explanation this week because I don’t want to. The heart feels how it feels, now move along.

The previews for next week look WILD

Of course, we know it’s going to be god when the rose ceremony is punted a week. It also appeared some of the juicier drama might unfold next week.

Inject it. Right. In. My. Veins.

Check back here for next week’s Bachelorette Recap.

*Side Note*

Chris Harrison quote-tweeted and responded to me tonight. So I am basically Bachelor Nation royalty.