Corinne did what?!? The Backstreet Boys? Sports date!
Every Monday night, three heroic FOX Sports Knoxville team members get together to watch The Bachelor on ABC. Okay, spoiler: they’re connected by iPhone group chat. Bachelor Squad members Will Warren, Jon Reed and Chance Collins present their weekly thoughts on this season of The Bachelor. This week: the boys recap Week 3, Corinne, and provide their individual Final Fours for this season.
Will: This was the most Corinne-centered episode yet. From the moment she came out with whipped cream on her…chest, it was obvious she’s stealing the show. And why not? Above all, the message of this show is as follows: who can sell themselves the best? Corinne is selling herself as an intelligent, sexually-charged front-runner who thinks she’s better than everyone there. It’s kind of disgusting, but winners win, I guess. In fact, she seems so grossly persuasive that I see no reason she can’t win this thing.
Also, Corinne passed out twice, revealed she had a nanny at age 24, exploded because the whipped cream chest idea was terrible, and got very NSFW at the pool party. She is who she is and doesn’t care what others think. Where have I heard that before in a recent public contest?
Special shoutout to the Backstreet Boys for still existing. Special education teacher Vanessa went on a zero-gravity flight with Nick and then vomited. Nonetheless, Nick comforted her and then kissed her after she vomited without letting her clean up first. This is both disgusting and the clearest sign possible that Vanessa will be engaged to Nick in two months.
Finally, shoutout to Shark Dolphin Girl Alexis, who I want to be friends with in real life.
My top 4:
3. Danielle M.
2. Rachel (MAJOR power move by stomping on the ring)
Jon: Corinne is here with the right mindset. Look, maybe she does actually want to win the Bachelor, and her performance his season has already locked up an appearance next season on Paradise. But Corinne is here to become a star. She’s thinking big picture. She’s knocking on the door of parlaying this into a softcore porn career.
I find myself battling this inner dilemma: if I were Nick, would I continue this charade of “trying to find love” or just spend the next month or so in that beautiful mansion having really dirty, kinky vacation sex with Corinne?
She’s pitching a perfect game thus far. Skipping the rose ceremony was a real power move. Dry humping in the bouncy house was psychological warfare. Oh yeah, and she covered herself in whipped cream in something that sounded much sexier than it actually looked.
I’m sure we could do 5,000 words on this nutjob, but the last thing I will say about her is I 100% believe that she is actually Nick’s dream girl, but there’s no chance he’ll actually pick her. Even if they are perfect for each other.
Can the Backstreet Boys still sex any woman aged between 24-42 in the world? Did you see the way they lit up when Nick and Brian walked in the room? Hell, even Kevin could’ve had any of them. If I’m Nick, I think I would’ve tried to get O-Town instead.
From the first day I saw her picture on the ESPN Bachelor Fantasy contest, Danielle L. was my pick to win it all. Seeing her dance made me feel good about my selection.
Vanessa looking for signs at her grandfather’s funeral telling her that she should go on a dating show and ultimately embarrass her family may be the saddest thing of this entire episode, and Corinne admitted that she had a nanny taking care of her.
Quick shout out to Astrid and her exercises. Great athlete. Very, very nice personality.
My top 4:
3. The girl from Wisconsin (Danielle M.)
1. Danielle L.
First of all, glad to finally join some real commentary in East Tenn. of The Bachelor, something of what dreams are made of. Here’s a quick analysis of what I’ve noticed since really digging deep into this Bachelor stuff. There’s always one girl willing to do anything each season, and with Nick, that’s Corinne. Corinne is that girl at the party that you know does naughty things, and you want to do everything to stay away, but come on, she does naughty things. She’s the lady your girlfriend warns you about, but your buddies and your conscience lusts for. That girl is going places.
Corinne might be the most interesting so far, but this is a squad full of potential. The beauty of not just one hot Danielle, but two, especially my boo Danielle L. (I know Jon Reed will concur). Vanessa jumps out to me after a post-puke kiss, Rachel continues to steal my heart and Alexis is “moving bitches” (her words, not mine) out the way to get to the hometown stage.
Here’s my Top 4 women thus far:
4. Rachel, 5* talent w/ ability to change the culture.
3. Taylor, 3* “diamond in the rough, under the radar type.
2. Corinne, 5* South Florida talent eager to please, get what you see on the tape, 100% effort.
1. Danielle L., a 5* West Coast Talent, playmaker and has ability to lead team for many years to come.